creating joy despite divorced mom/stepmom conflict
We are thrilled to announce that after two years of work, we’ve finally completed writing “Skirts at War: Creating Peace Amidst Divorced Mom and Stepmom Conflict.” For those of you not familiar with it, it’s the book that probably should have been written before ”No One’s the Bitch.” “Skirts at War” is a comprehensive, self-help book… [Continue Reading]
Have you ever thought about how weird it is that so many people are divorced now? I remember when my kids were in elementary school and I was still married, we were surrounded by other nuclear families during drop-offs and pick-ups and school events. In junior high, not so much. In high school, neither… [Continue Reading]
One day while we were talking on the phone, we realized: one reason these relationships between households can seem so impossible is because we have the two most important relationships of our lives competing against each other: parent and child vs. husband and wife. This creates a dynamic in relationships that we like to call… [Continue Reading]
If there’s one thing I wish I could tell LeAnn Rimes Cibrian and Brandi Glanville, it would be: keep it to yourselves. Or rather, keep it between yourselves and out of the spotlight. “It” being their very public disagreement currently playing itself out on Twitter and as of today, in a gossip magazine. The tiff initially… [Continue Reading]
As you may have noticed, this blog came to a screeching halt over the last several months. When writers post after a dry spell, they often feel compelled to offer a host of reasons why that no one really cares about. You’re reading this blog for your benefit, not mine. So here’s my offering to… [Continue Reading]
It’s hard to remain calm when you’re faced with threats of court, false accusations, bogus restraining orders and the defended ego of others. When you find yourself in the alternative universe of someone else’s truth , take a moment and remind yourself of who you are. The you beneath the constant state of defense, stress,… [Continue Reading]
I’m sure divorced moms experience this as well, but this complaint seems to be more prevalent among stepmoms, probably because moms hold more power when it comes to their children. Pick a situation, it could be anything: you think things are going well and then you get a nasty email or text telling you how it’s going… [Continue Reading]
(These are excerpts from an article that was originally published in the July 2011 issue of Stepmom Magazine) Stepmoms often feel very alone in their journey, but they’re not. Here are some common thoughts and emotions that stepmoms experience. 1. I FEEL LIKE AN OUTSIDER IN MY OWN HOME: This is one of the worst… [Continue Reading]
For those of you who are having trouble letting go of the stepmom or divorced mom in your life, this is for you. Do you find yourself obsessing about her? Stepmoms, are you feeling the need to show up at every event she’s going to be at so you can “monitor” her behavior? Afraid she’ll… [Continue Reading]
As I begin decluttering my house in preparation for selling it and moving to Oregon, I’m struck by how many things I’ve hung onto over the years for reasons I can’t even remember. The things themselves are tied to memories, dreams, and old priorities. They’re also tied to “issues” I used to have and some… [Continue Reading]
There seems to be an epidemic of stepmoms divorcing. I don’t know the details of every situation, but it’s a pretty good guess that their husbands did not step up and support them. Experts agree that the marriage needs to be the primary relationship. If your husband doesn’t realize this, you have a high chance of… [Continue Reading]
What are we shooting for here? How can we help you? Our best-selling book – and this site – focuses on how to create a better relationship between ex-wives and stepmoms, or, in other words, traditional enemies. We’re unique in that our perspective is informed by BOTH sides – a divorced mom and a stepmom. The… [Continue Reading]
We’re all women. We all struggle. We’ve all had thoughts and feeling we wish we didn’t. We’re all in situations we wish we could change. We’re similar in so many ways, yet we continue to be separate. Mom has to struggle knowing her children are part of another family, one that doesn’t include her. This… [Continue Reading]
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” – Maria Robinson “We judge others by their behavior. We judge ourselves by our intentions.” – Ian Percy “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at… [Continue Reading]
“Our thoughts create our reality — where we put our focus is the direction we tend to go.” – Peter McWilliams – A colorful sunrise. – Contentment. – Growth. – Family to laugh with. – Inner wholeness. – Peace. – Crisp morning air. – Nature’s beauty. – Health. – Opportunity to help others heal. -… [Continue Reading]
I caught the tail end of the Little League World Series (Japan vs. the U.S.) today…. I stopped mid-channel-surfing because I thought–wait–what are these little kids doing playing such an intense game of baseball? And why is it on TV? I was reminded of, many years ago, living in Spain as a child and my… [Continue Reading]
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about generosity. And wishing we could be more generous to each other. Websters defines “generous” as : –adjective 1. liberal in giving or sharing; unselfish: a generous patron of the arts; a generous gift. 2. free from meanness or smallness of mind or character; magnanimous. In the context of these relationships,… [Continue Reading]
When it comes to how you expect the other woman to behave, could you meet those same standards? Never say a single bad word against you. Always do what’s best for the children (according to your private interpretation). Never be late (come hell, high water or bad traffic). Never get angry, be snippy, play the… [Continue Reading]
Many problems between houses start because someone is actually trying to solve a problem. A father desperately misses his kids. A stepmom is trying to find her place in a family with lots of history that came before her. A mom feels disoriented, sharing parental responsibilities with someone she doesn’t know. People struggle with their… [Continue Reading]
(Register now for Jenna’s August Stepmom Bootcamp!) Welcome to our monthly feature, where one of YOU shares your story with fellow moms and stepmoms. Let’s welcome a popular voice on our Facebook page and in our Member’s Community private forum, stepmom and mom, Renee Stone. (You might know her as “Lucky.”) NOTB: Welcome Renee! When… [Continue Reading]
(Register now for Jenna’s August Stepmom Bootcamp!) How much energy are you spending on the other woman? How often during the day do you think about her? Have you googled her lately? Complained about her latest antics to your friends? Your husband? Anyone who will listen? And how does it feel to be consumed with trying… [Continue Reading]
(Thursday, 7/28 from 7-8:00 CST. The call is limited to 100 attendees, so reserve your space! Click here to register.) (Work through your toughest stepmom issues at Jenna’s Stepmom Bootcamp!) Join us this Thursday for a free, live webinar with two leading experts in their field: Debbie Nigro, co-founder of First Wives World and “Stepmonster”… [Continue Reading]
(Join Jenna for Stepmom Bootcamp!) I just got the go-ahead from my agent this weekend for an NOTB follow-up! The book is tentatively titled, “No One’s the Bitch SUCCESS: What Worked and How to Do More of It – Even If She Doesn’t Change.” I’ve learned a lot over the years since writing the first… [Continue Reading]
(Register for Jenna’s Stepmom Bootcamp!) I took my two big dogs for a walk down at the greenbelt for the first time the other morning. I had to admit, I was nervous. New retractable leash. A German Shepherd (Lucy, almost 12, still going strong) who’s rarely, but nevertheless potentially fearful and aggressive. A Siberian Husky… [Continue Reading]
“I’m sorry…” Two very powerful words, when spoken from the heart. Why? Because you’re acknowledging that you’ve caused another pain, whether it was intentional or not. It’s an opportunity to express your regret about the way you behaved, the words you spoke, or the intentions you held. Without an acknowledgement of wrongdoing, how can the… [Continue Reading]
I sometimes like to think of weird things that might have extremely large numbers assigned to them. …How many breaths each and every creature that’s ever lived has taken, all together. …How many times the clouds have passed over the sun as someone looked skyward. …How many times you’ve eaten lunch. …How many times your… [Continue Reading]
Last week, I described how my strong sense of self is partly responsible for me surviving my stepfamily journey, sanity intact. The other crucial part of this is my husband’s support. I don’t think men know just how much influence and power they hold. After all, they’re the whole reason we’re here, right? We fell in… [Continue Reading]
The other woman is out to get you. Everything she does is motivated by an intense, burning desire to see you fail, to make you suffer. Her life revolves around making you miserable — and miserable you are, despite yourself. Although… something about this feeling seems familiar. You can’t quite put your finger on it……. [Continue Reading]
The discord in our families is reflective of the discord in ourselves. So when we heal ourselves, we will heal our families. That’s what Jen and I came up with while we were discussing why we’re compelled to do this work. Why we spend hours a week interacting with you on Facebook and in the… [Continue Reading]
Most of us are reluctant to turn the flashlight back on ourselves and look at the ways we might have screwed up. After all, who likes feeling like they’ve messed up? Like the balance of power has shifted in the story and all of a sudden, instead of the other person being so predictably wrong… [Continue Reading]
We’ve gotten lots of new readers lately, so I thought it might be a good time to take a step back and summarize who we are and what we’re shooting for here… Our best-selling book – and this site – focuses on how to create a harmonious relationship between ex-wives and stepmoms, or, in other… [Continue Reading]
(Disclaimer: these descriptions don’t encompass all situations. There are outliers and extremes and hundreds of different scenarios. But these are the most common experiences for many stepmoms.) 1. She isn’t playing house with your child and your ex-husband. Stepmoms are trying to build their own family, a very real family that includes their husband, and… [Continue Reading]
(Did you read Jen’s recent article in the Huffington Post? Leave a comment and share your thoughts!) Welcome to our monthly feature, where one of YOU shares your story with fellow moms and stepmoms. Meet soon-to-be stepmom, Korina! NOTB: Welcome Korina! When was your situation at its best and at its worst — and what… [Continue Reading]
As some of you may already know, Jenna has had a less than ideal relationship with the mother of her stepchildren. These relationships are contentious! But in the spirit of showing women what’s possible with our Just Meet Her! Challenge this month, she agreed to serve as a guinea pig and issue an invitation. Lo… [Continue Reading]
(Audrey S. [mom] and Gina W. [stepmom] on Mother’s Day with their children.) The problem of the world is that we draw the circle of our family too small. -Mother Theresa Our old grievances can change in an instant when we simply open to the other… and listen. WHAT IF… the divorced mom or stepmom is… [Continue Reading]
In my three short years as a stepmom, I’ve learned some things about divorced moms that I wish I would have known at the very beginning. It would have made my journey SO much easier. I’m sharing them with you now, in hopes that your ride will be a little smoother than mine. Keep in… [Continue Reading]
Over the weekend, we learned a valuable lesson. Jenna shared a link to an article on our Facebook page that she thought might be potentially inflammatory, but also stimulate an interesting discussion — given the fact that some stepmoms do indeed wrestle with this kind of behavior with the mom in their lives. All hell… [Continue Reading]
Happy Mother’s Day! Thank for all you do for these little beings (and sometimes medium and big ones) who can be moody, uncooperative, whiny, over-sensitive and angry –- but also wonderfully innocent, vulnerable, warm, playful, all-accepting, and sweetly kind. Our children need ALL of us! They need as many adults to love them as possible… [Continue Reading]
Note: I’m apologizing ahead of time for anyone that I might piss off with this post. It is not my intention . Okay, here goes! There are 2 complaints I hear often from moms regarding their ex-husbands. The first complaint is that if he’s remarried and the stepmom plays an active parenting role, then he… [Continue Reading]
Funny thing about us and driving…. When we cut someone else off in traffic because we have a lot on our mind that day — we’re tearful, or pissed, or stressed out about a gut-wrenching problem with no end in sight — we cut ourselves some slack. We’re really not THAT kind of driver, we… [Continue Reading]
On Tuesday, I posted a challenge on Facebook for all of you peace pioneers, and I was pleasantly surprised to see how many of you were ready to take it on. For those of you who missed it, here’s the challenge: For one week, when faced with an emotional trigger, wait 5 minutes before responding…. [Continue Reading]
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. -Philo Here’s a little experiment to try this week…. If you’re wanting to create a friendlier relationship with the mom or stepmom and aren’t sure where to start, first, consider doing something simple and stopping any subtly combative behavior. Is your voice tight when… [Continue Reading]
What thoughts keep you company at night? Thoughts about how wonderful, beautiful and bright you are? Or thoughts about how you’re not skinny enough, smart enough or good enough? Thoughts about what an awful person the stepmom or ex-wife is? Or thoughts geared toward understanding, curiosity or acceptance? Our thoughts are so powerful, that they… [Continue Reading]
1. Your grievances live inside you long after the event has passed, which feels terrible. 2. Your grudges don’t actually improve the outcome of future problems. 3. You’re inadvertently “leaking” your resentment onto innocent bystanders. 4. It’s possible to forgive… and still create healthy boundaries that protect you from future pain and unhappiness. 5. When… [Continue Reading]
Relationship and stepmom coach Jenna Korf talks about why she’s here, her own journey as a stepmom, and how she’s hoping to connect with all of YOU here on No One’s the Bitch. Jennifer’s version of her story can be found here. And stay tuned for another video this week, where Jen and Jenna describe… [Continue Reading]
Since none of us would be here if it weren’t for the kids, I started thinking about how some parents can’t help but put their children in the middle of their mess with their ex. And every time I think of it, I’m reminded of an extraordinary book my husband and I read, called “Keeping… [Continue Reading]
Some of you have already done this, and some of you are considering it. You’ve reached a point in your life where, for whatever reason, you’ve decided to take a break from trying to make it work with the stepmom or ex-wife. You’ve taken back your olive branch and tucked it away for safe… [Continue Reading]
Let’s say some prayers for our friends and neighbors in Japan. The earthquake and tsunami have once again reminded us just how easily everything can be taken away from any of us in an instant, and now, a terrifying nuclear crisis is unfolding before our very eyes. May they find a way to cool the… [Continue Reading]
Many stepmoms enter into their new family, and before they know it — without warning — find themselves providing transportation for the kiddies, cooking for the family after a long day of work, making sure homework gets done, dealing with their husband’s ex, and doing many other energy-draining tasks. Unfortunately, when they come up for… [Continue Reading]
A common theme in my stepmom support group is how defensive some husbands get when their wives attempt to address an issue regarding the kids. Most of time, the issue never gets addressed, because defensiveness usually leads to one, or both, parties shutting down. If someone gets defensive when confronted, it’s usually because they’re taking your issue as a… [Continue Reading]
Maybe you experienced a long, slow slide towards divorce. The communication dwindled. The awesome sex became lost in the tidal wave of daily life demands. It was always one thing after another with the kids. Or perhaps you were unlucky enough to be blind-sided by the sting of infidelity. However you found yourself in the… [Continue Reading]
Credit: anankkml The other day, during our webinar with the super insightful publisher of Stepmom Magazine, Brenda Ockun, she said something that struck me. Something that I would like to shout from the mountain tops and that I wish someone had told me 3 years ago: If you and the other woman can’t have a… [Continue Reading]
We are standing at the edge of an unexplored frontier in family relationships… and we have an unprecedented opportunity to create a new paradigm for our children that heals the damage of divorce. And did you know that, according to the census, only a child’s primary residence counts as a stepfamily, even if they live… [Continue Reading]
I just spoke to a producer for the Dr. Phil Show and they’d love to do another show highlighting the issues between dual-families – meaning, either a single parent family and a stepfamily — or two stepfamilies connected by divorce – that don’t get along. Things move quick in TV Land, so the two families… [Continue Reading]
At 46, I’m certainly not one of the greatest rock climbers around, but it’s a obsession I truly love that has changed me on many levels. Just like any sport that attracts die-hard followers, it has its own lingo and insider terminology. “Beta” are the tips and inside scoop to help you successfully complete a… [Continue Reading]
The relationship between mom and stepmom is a tense one. Add a dad into the mix, and all effective communication can get thrown right out the window. Not because he’s not good at it, but because men are wired differently than women. Ever notice when you’re talking to your husband or ex-husband that a few… [Continue Reading]
I consider myself pretty successful in my transition from single girl to stepmom and I’ve always had the best of intentions when it came to my husband’s ex-wife. And yet, I’ve made some moves that seemed right at the time, but weren’t. Here’s one of them: I won’t get into the details for privacy’s sake,… [Continue Reading]
(Burnt Forest photo credit: Ramsey Kunkel) We have an interesting opportunity to learn something, after what happened in Arizona on Saturday. As many of you know by now, 6 people were tragically killed (including a nine-year old girl born on 9/11) and 13 were critically injured when a 22 year-old man opened fire at Democratic… [Continue Reading]
Happy New Year and farewell to 2010! I am thrilled to introduce a new direction for the new year – a new blogging and workshop partner! Jenna Korf and I have corresponded over the last several years and have finally found a way to work together. She’ll be doing some guest posts here, we’ll try… [Continue Reading]
COACHING NOW AVAILABLE Please check out my new coaching page! You’ll find a variety of coaching options, if you’re interested in getting further support. There’s also a way to sign up for a free mini-session to test drive the car…. Coming this week: FREE DOWNLOADABLE GUIDE Free, in-depth guide on whether to take action on… [Continue Reading]
For a while there, whenever our dual-family family was ironing out some major issues—like which kid was living where, and for how long—we’d have these really intense family meetings. We’d all sit around the kitchen table after dinner, or in the living room, half of us sprawled on the floor… and we’d talk. One of… [Continue Reading]
So far, it’s nowhere near about you to the extent you might think, you’re going to be like a tree on a hill, you have more power than you think you do and it’s good to tend to the good.* On this last day of Thanksgiving week here in the U.S, there’s the post-holiday torpor… [Continue Reading]
One very easy way to increase your feelings of gratitude is to TAKE CARE OF YOUR BLESSINGS. So often, we take for granted the things that are working well and assume they will always be there. Kids that still reach out. A reliable partner. Your job. Your health. The place you live. Your car. Friends… [Continue Reading]
But first, Happy National Stepfamily Day to all the stepmoms and their families! Thank you for all you do to love and care for our children. We’re all brave pioneers in this day and age, navigating a very different world when it comes to parenting and marriage. Did you know that 1,300 stepfamilies form every… [Continue Reading]
Took a bit of a break here to let the well replenish itself, let the fields lie fallow, let the sediment settle– and any other nature metaphors that might fit. I’m back now and ready to crank up the rusty writing machine and noodle brain…. In the interest of starting a conversation back up with… [Continue Reading]
I’ll be participating in this today — come join us and ask your most pressing questions. The last one was loads of fun and very lively! CLICK HERE TO JOIN IN
Many of you come to this site because you’re looking for information that might give you an advantage with your difficult mom/stepmom relationship. You want something extra to help you create a shift. Movement in the right direction. A breakthrough out of nowhere. You’re the only one who knows what it’s like in your particular… [Continue Reading]
From Chaos to Partnership… The Transformation Lab is a solution-focused, online course designed to move you forward by enriching your understanding of a healthy step-bio relationship. Class begins Tuesday, June 22nd. “This is a really interesting walkthrough; a ten-step plan that’s well thought-out and experience-based. You didn’t invent this problem — you’ve just taken a… [Continue Reading]
(If you’re in the U.S., our show with Dr. Phil will be on as a rerun tomorrow. Tune in if you missed it before!) We’re going to have so much fun, talking to stepmom Becky Lippett from La Belle Mere about how she recently transformed her formerly nerve-wracking relationship with the ex-wife in her life…. [Continue Reading]
Announcing an in-depth course just for stepmoms, a free How Did She Do It? call and no-holds barred videos from Carol and Jen! ** Have you lost your desire to even try anymore with the ex-wife? ** Have you been burned one too many times? ** Have you been drained by the constant stress, anxiety,… [Continue Reading]
This just in! Please help us spread the word! If you’re struggling in your stepfamily (either with your husband or stepchildren–or both) and you’d like to get some help, a major production company in New York is looking for YOU to film a pilot! The show will never be shown to the public and will… [Continue Reading]
What does it look like when the “bio-mom” and stepmom transform the ex-wife/stepmom relationship from hell? Here, we talk to two women who were formerly at war for years, but have suddenly made a breakthrough into a whole, new world of cooperation and promise. Mayra (the mom) and Jesica (the stepmom) from the D.C. area… [Continue Reading]
Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith were on Oprah today with their children—ALONG WITH HIS EX-WIFE. Fascinating stuff. Will was married to Sheree Zampino for four years (1992-95) and they have a 17 year-old son named Trey. She is now married to former San Diego Chargers player, Pastor Terrell Fletcher. Will and Jada also have… [Continue Reading]
A happy day to all the stepmoms out there! Please know that all your efforts make a difference. All the time and taking care of the stepkids, all the things you remember to do (that others don’t even seem to realize are on the list), all the ways in which you try to be flexible… [Continue Reading]
To ANYONE who takes care of our children, whether you made them or not, I salute you! Thank for all you do for these little beings (and sometimes medium and big ones) who can be moody, uncooperative, whiny, over-sensitive and angry–but also wonderfully innocent, vulnerable, warm, playful, all-accepting, and sweetly kind. Our children need ALL… [Continue Reading]
I’ll be gabbing with my good friends, stepmoms Peggy Nolan and Erin Erickson tonight on the Stepmom’s Tool Box radio show (Monday, May 3rd / 8:00-9:00 p.m. EST). Have a burning question you’d like to ask? Disagree or agree with a recent post? Please come join us, I’d love to hear from you! Any and… [Continue Reading]
Most of our readers are stepmoms. This makes sense to me because it’s the stepmoms who are locked out of the house, waiting outside in the snow. The dads have a lot of power, because, hey, these are their kids and they get the final say. And the moms certainly have a lot of power… [Continue Reading]
(New here? Subscribe to our RSS Feed or via email. Follow us on Facebook or Twitter. Check out excerpts from our book or audio book, and join us on the forum.) Feeling like there’s an enemy in your midst can be really stressful. This is what a lot of stepmoms and ex-wives that are stuck… [Continue Reading]
(New here? Subscribe to our RSS Feed or via email. Follow us on Facebook or Twitter. Check out excerpts from our book or audio book, and join us on the forum. “Since emotional processes can work faster than the mind, it takes a power stronger than the mind to bend perception, override emotional circuitry, and… [Continue Reading]
(New here? Subscribe to our RSS Feed or via email. Follow us on Facebook or Twitter. Check out excerpts from our book or audio book, and join us on the forum. One essential element that needs to be in place when you’re dealing with a high-conflict situation—or trying to change it—is self-love. Okay, so the… [Continue Reading]
(New here? Subscribe to our RSS Feed or via email. Follow us on Facebook or Twitter. Check out excerpts from our book or audio book, and join us on the forum.) I just got a call from an Oprah producer at Harpo Studios, Heather M.! I had spoken to her right before our book came… [Continue Reading]
Our Ask An Expert day for StepMom Magazine on Facebook was a great success! If you have a Facebook account, stop by and read the veritable cornucopia of responses (any chance to use the phrase veritable cornucopia) from all the experts that participated. I was in some esteemed company! Some very thorough information there that… [Continue Reading]
(New here? Subscribe to our RSS Feed or via email. Follow us on Facebook or Twitter. Check out excerpts from our book or audio book, and join us on the forum. I’ll be part of a panel for StepMom Magazine’s Ask the Expert Day on Facebook this Wednesday. Drop by and join us!) “…An epidemic… [Continue Reading]
Who’s in your extended family? How often do you see them? Who can you call when you’re in a pinch? Most families are spread far and wide these days, so when you need a parent, sibling, grandmother or grandfather to step in, you’re out of luck. But sometimes, the two linked households after a divorce… [Continue Reading]
Every year, I choose a single word for the upcoming year for my resolution, instead of a list of to-do items. This seems to work a lot better than a bunch of “demands,” because that’s what most New Year’s resolutions eventually feel like! You can read more about previous words here…. My word for 2009… [Continue Reading]
(This post originally appeared in a slightly altered version last week, before our host blew up. I’ve revised it and included some important links as well.) It’s a normal human impulse… when you can’t escape ongoing conflict with another person, you often feel compelled to prove who’s more at fault. Surely it can’t be you!… [Continue Reading]
So I have a moment at the end of the Dr. Phil Show that we did a few weeks ago that I’m hoping no one will see, but that my ex-husband David assures me is the one moment they will probably be sure to include (air date: Dec. 1). Great… Just what I wanted to… [Continue Reading]
Fire up your recorders! The show we taped last week in L.A. will be on Tuesday, December 1st. We're on the first half of the show (including David, Carol's husband and my ex – poor guy) and then there's another mom/stepmom/dad combo on during the second half of the show. I had big plans to… [Continue Reading]
It appears that the mom from the mom/stepmom team that was to appear on the show this coming Tuesday has changed her mind. The show would now like to instead focus on taking questions from both moms and stepmoms in the audience, so you're in luck if you live in Los Angeles or close by,… [Continue Reading]
I need your help! Can you help us absolutely plaster the internets with our request? Carol and I have the opportunity to be on the Dr. Phil show next Tuesday and are doing a pre-interview with a producer today. We're looking for two (update: now only one) stepmom/mom sets of women who can't stand each… [Continue Reading]
There's a funny little thing that can happen with people you love that drags the relationship down without you even noticing it – until after the fact. I just came back from visiting my daughter Sophie, who moved out a short time ago into her own cool, little abode with roommates just north of the… [Continue Reading]
Happy Stepfamily Day to all the stepfamilies out there! Being in a stepfamily has its unique challenges, but there are also many opportunities to create new and lasting connections, new opportunities for love and support. Surprising little islands of closeness and intimacy, the chance to really see each other anew. Sure, I hear many stories… [Continue Reading]
Conflict with another person can be so painful… Particularly in these situations where you're so at once intimately tied to another person, and yet, still don't even know them, it's easy to get your feelings hurt. And to feel attacked. Judged. And then, on the heels of hurt feelings — anger and self-defense. If only… [Continue Reading]
I'm joining forces with three other good friends* in the hopes of getting more publicity for blended family and "dual-family" issues, just in time for National Stepfamily Day on Sept. 16th. It's estimated that only 20% of American families are now nuclear families. And stepfamilies have an almost 75% rate of divorce! The single-parent family… [Continue Reading]
Here’s an easy way to know if you’re ever going to break through the impasse with the stepmother or bio-mom. Ask yourself: am I stressed? Does my stress level stay at a pretty consistent level? (Sure, you might also be thinking, Well, it’s because of HER that I’m so stressed, but not so fast, Buster….)… [Continue Reading]
(Sorry for the lack of new content lately – busy trying to get some new projects off the ground. Why do things always take twice as long as we think they're going to?!) Peggy Nolan wrote a great post over at The Step Mom's Toolbox that I'd like to point you to, called "Changing the… [Continue Reading]
Wouldn't it be helpful to have more stories of ex-wives and stepmoms out there, telling the truth about their lives, letting us take a peek inside? Well maybe YOU can tell your story… or eventually just hear some! I just got this very cool invitation from Eve Claxton of StoryCorps (they do the up-close, real-life… [Continue Reading]
I just listened to a really in-depth interview Carol and I did with husband/wife team Phillip and Lisa Mulford over on Communication 360 and I hope you'll give it a listen too. It's raw and emotional and extremely honest. However cringe-y it is to hear your own recorded voice (I always think I sound like… [Continue Reading]
However new or weird the idea of getting along with the stepmother or bio-mom might seem to you, the benefits of doing so are probably annoyingly obvious. Yeah, you've probably heard this all before (do I hear yawning?): less stress better communication smoother flow to life in general brainstorming help with the kids = better… [Continue Reading]
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Like our book? Has it given you some new weapons tools for your blended-family arsenal? Made you think? Prompted you to action? Created an actual change in your life for the better? Leave a comment on Amazon saying so and win an hour-long phone consultation with Jennifer Newcomb Marine (that would be… me) to troubleshoot… [Continue Reading]