What’s under the surface?

I caught the tail end of the Little League World Series (Japan vs. the U.S.) today…. I stopped mid-channel-surfing because I thought–wait–what are these little kids doing playing such an intense game of baseball? And why is it on TV? I was reminded of, many years ago, living in Spain as a child and my […]

Impossibly High Standards

When it comes to how you expect the other woman to behave, could you meet those same standards? Never say a single bad word against you. Always do what’s best for the children (according to your private interpretation). Never be late (come hell, high water or bad traffic). Never get angry, be snippy, play the victim, or be […]

One-Way Compassion

Many problems between houses start because someone is actually trying to solve a problem. A father desperately misses his kids. A stepmom is trying to find her place in a family with lots of history that came before her. A mom feels disoriented, sharing parental responsibilities with someone she doesn’t know. People struggle with their […]

The Power of a Name: Just-A-Stepmoms and Bio-Moms

I sometimes like to think of weird things that might have extremely large numbers assigned to them. …How many breaths each and every creature that’s ever lived has taken, all together. …How many times the clouds have passed over the sun as someone looked skyward. …How many times you’ve eaten lunch. …How many times your […]

Why Owning Your Own Crap Empowers You

Most of us are reluctant to turn the flashlight back on ourselves and look at the ways we might have screwed up. After all, who likes feeling like they’ve messed up? Like the balance of power has shifted in the story and all of a sudden, instead of the other person being so predictably wrong […]