creating joy despite divorced mom/stepmom conflict
Many problems between houses start because someone is actually trying to solve a problem. A father desperately misses his kids. A stepmom is trying to find her place in a family with lots of history that came before her. A mom feels disoriented, sharing parental responsibilities with someone she doesn’t know. People struggle with their… [Continue Reading]
I sometimes like to think of weird things that might have extremely large numbers assigned to them. …How many breaths each and every creature that’s ever lived has taken, all together. …How many times the clouds have passed over the sun as someone looked skyward. …How many times you’ve eaten lunch. …How many times your… [Continue Reading]
The discord in our families is reflective of the discord in ourselves. So when we heal ourselves, we will heal our families. That’s what Jen and I came up with while we were discussing why we’re compelled to do this work. Why we spend hours a week interacting with you on Facebook and in the… [Continue Reading]
Welcome to the launch of our new monthly feature, where one of YOU shares your story with fellow moms and stepmoms. Meet Holly! Her family tree is pretty wild, so we’ll let her describe it to you: “I qualify as both a mom and stepmom. When I was 19, I became a stepmother to my… [Continue Reading]
On Thursday, Jenna’s post “One woman’s frog is another’s woman’s prince” lit up our blog and Facebook page with massive hits and fascinating feedback. She really struck a nerve. Most of the feedback was from stepmoms, but her post was important for moms to read too. We often forget that the men we divorced can… [Continue Reading]
Note: I’m apologizing ahead of time for anyone that I might piss off with this post. It is not my intention . Okay, here goes! There are 2 complaints I hear often from moms regarding their ex-husbands. The first complaint is that if he’s remarried and the stepmom plays an active parenting role, then he… [Continue Reading]
1. Your grievances live inside you long after the event has passed, which feels terrible. 2. Your grudges don’t actually improve the outcome of future problems. 3. You’re inadvertently “leaking” your resentment onto innocent bystanders. 4. It’s possible to forgive… and still create healthy boundaries that protect you from future pain and unhappiness. 5. When… [Continue Reading]
A common theme in my stepmom support group is how defensive some husbands get when their wives attempt to address an issue regarding the kids. Most of time, the issue never gets addressed, because defensiveness usually leads to one, or both, parties shutting down. If someone gets defensive when confronted, it’s usually because they’re taking your issue as a… [Continue Reading]
Maybe you experienced a long, slow slide towards divorce. The communication dwindled. The awesome sex became lost in the tidal wave of daily life demands. It was always one thing after another with the kids. Or perhaps you were unlucky enough to be blind-sided by the sting of infidelity. However you found yourself in the… [Continue Reading]
I just spoke to a producer for the Dr. Phil Show and they’d love to do another show highlighting the issues between dual-families – meaning, either a single parent family and a stepfamily — or two stepfamilies connected by divorce – that don’t get along. Things move quick in TV Land, so the two families… [Continue Reading]
At 46, I’m certainly not one of the greatest rock climbers around, but it’s a obsession I truly love that has changed me on many levels. Just like any sport that attracts die-hard followers, it has its own lingo and insider terminology. “Beta” are the tips and inside scoop to help you successfully complete a… [Continue Reading]
The relationship between mom and stepmom is a tense one. Add a dad into the mix, and all effective communication can get thrown right out the window. Not because he’s not good at it, but because men are wired differently than women. Ever notice when you’re talking to your husband or ex-husband that a few… [Continue Reading]
For a while there, whenever our dual-family family was ironing out some major issues—like which kid was living where, and for how long—we’d have these really intense family meetings. We’d all sit around the kitchen table after dinner, or in the living room, half of us sprawled on the floor… and we’d talk. One of… [Continue Reading]
Took a bit of a break here to let the well replenish itself, let the fields lie fallow, let the sediment settle– and any other nature metaphors that might fit. I’m back now and ready to crank up the rusty writing machine and noodle brain…. In the interest of starting a conversation back up with… [Continue Reading]
(New here? Subscribe to our RSS Feed or via email. Follow us on Facebook or Twitter. Check out excerpts from our book or audio book, and join us on the forum. I’ll be part of a panel for StepMom Magazine’s Ask the Expert Day on Facebook this Wednesday. Drop by and join us!) “…An epidemic… [Continue Reading]
Who’s in your extended family? How often do you see them? Who can you call when you’re in a pinch? Most families are spread far and wide these days, so when you need a parent, sibling, grandmother or grandfather to step in, you’re out of luck. But sometimes, the two linked households after a divorce… [Continue Reading]
It appears that the mom from the mom/stepmom team that was to appear on the show this coming Tuesday has changed her mind. The show would now like to instead focus on taking questions from both moms and stepmoms in the audience, so you're in luck if you live in Los Angeles or close by,… [Continue Reading]
I need your help! Can you help us absolutely plaster the internets with our request? Carol and I have the opportunity to be on the Dr. Phil show next Tuesday and are doing a pre-interview with a producer today. We're looking for two (update: now only one) stepmom/mom sets of women who can't stand each… [Continue Reading]
Feeling your way into potential stepmotherhood? Are you dating a divorced man with kids and things are looking promising? Here are a few ideas for setting a healthy course from the very beginning that will make you thank yourself later. Bond over the good stuff, not the bad. Don’t make a part of your bonding… [Continue Reading]
When Indiana Jones threw sand out into the precipice, suddenly revealing an invisible bridge, he found the magical solution to quickly getting across, away from his enemies. But… he still had to actually cross the narrow bridge without falling off. Trust between you and the stepmom or mom is like that same skinny bridge made real… [Continue Reading]
Relationships between ex-husbands and ex-wives are minefields fraught with potential explosions. Toss a few kids, a stepmother or second husband, and plenty of strong opinions about the way “things should be” into the mix, and it’s pretty much guaranteed you’ll be doing lots of tiptoeing through the tulips. Or cowpies…. Even in the most amicable… [Continue Reading]
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