Your Mind is Effing You Over – Not Anyone Else

Have you ever thought about how weird it is that so many people are divorced now?   I remember when my kids were in elementary school and I was still married, we were surrounded by other nuclear families during drop-offs and pick-ups and school events. In junior high, not so much. In high school, neither […]

This old suitcase? Why your old baggage matters more than you realize…

As I begin decluttering my house in preparation for selling it and moving to Oregon, I’m struck by how many things I’ve hung onto over the years for reasons I can’t even remember. The things themselves are tied to memories, dreams, and old priorities. They’re also tied to “issues” I used to have and some […]

Impossibly High Standards

When it comes to how you expect the other woman to behave, could you meet those same standards? Never say a single bad word against you. Always do what’s best for the children (according to your private interpretation). Never be late (come hell, high water or bad traffic). Never get angry, be snippy, play the victim, or be […]

The Awesome Power of Thank You and Hello

They’re a social lubricant, a path through the thorny woods, an accepted mechanism for interaction in the world of people, sometimes very obnoxious people. Manners…. Remember those? No matter where you are on the spectrum of ex-wife/stepmother relations, you can’t go wrong if you use the basics. Let’s say you’re stuck with Annoying Aunt Edna […]

How to Stop Hating the Ex-wife or Stepmom in 7 Simple Steps

You may have read in Friday’s post about how Carol (the stepmom) and I (the ex-wife) went from cringing in each other’s company to cackling happily over coffee. As promised, here are some (long-ass!) tips for creating such a bridge yourself — and reducing some of the angst and anger in your own ex-wife/stepmom relationship […]