Your Mind is Effing You Over – Not Anyone Else

Have you ever thought about how weird it is that so many people are divorced now?   I remember when my kids were in elementary school and I was still married, we were surrounded by other nuclear families during drop-offs and pick-ups and school events. In junior high, not so much. In high school, neither […]

Who gets more “emotional authority?”

One day while talking on the phone, we realized: one reason these relationships between households can seem so impossible is because we have the two most important relationships of our lives competing against each other: parent and child vs. husband and wife. This creates a dynamic in relationships that we like to call “emotional authority.” […]

More than one day of thanks

There’s a very good chance that your thinking is skewed on the side of non-gratitude. Especially as it relates to this topic of divorce-connected families. Just like news, a car wreck on the side of the road or gossip, it’s the drama, chaos and conflict that catches our eye and rivets our attention in our […]

This old suitcase? Why your old baggage matters more than you realize…

As I begin decluttering my house in preparation for selling it and moving to Oregon, I’m struck by how many things I’ve hung onto over the years for reasons I can’t even remember. The things themselves are tied to memories, dreams, and old priorities. They’re also tied to “issues” I used to have and some […]

What’s under the surface?

I caught the tail end of the Little League World Series (Japan vs. the U.S.) today…. I stopped mid-channel-surfing because I thought–wait–what are these little kids doing playing such an intense game of baseball? And why is it on TV? I was reminded of, many years ago, living in Spain as a child and my […]