Blog round-up/shutdown
A weird thing happened on my way to a new post….
I thought I'd peruse a few blogs on our link list and see what folks have been up to so I could point readers in an interesting direction (kind of the lazy way to generate content, but sometimes, that's all you got). My first three choices went click, click, click, all in a row. I got the same, basic message for all of them:
This blog is open to invited readers only.
This post is password-protected.
Not Found. Sorry, but you are looking for something that isn't here.
Then I stumbled upon this post at the always excellent Stepmother's Milk regarding writing about the ex-wife. I'll let Izzy speak for herself. Here's an excerpt:
get clear. I created this site to build a community of like-minded
stepmoms– not to grow my relationship with the EX. Do I need to be fair
to my husband’s ex-wife? Yes. Should I be decent? Absolutely. But, when it comes down to it, this site is not about her– it’s about me."
It seems a few changes have reverberated through the stepmom/mom blogosphere lately. Has there been a dearth of openness online?
I understand it's not a simple issue, writing in a public atmosphere about deeply personal matters in the hopes of connecting with others, working through some of your own challenges, and maybe even being of service to others. I think Izzy's blog shows you it's possible to do so with grace, balance, and good humor.
Time to dust off our links!
(Two more days until I'm done editing the book and then I can start writing new blog material again.)
© 2008 Jennifer Newcomb Marine All Rights Reserved
Hello Ladies!
As one of the stepmoms who has recently password protected some of her posts, I can tell you that it is not always about grace.
In my case, BM has some mental health issues that inhibit her ability to view another’s perspective with even a little bit of objectivity. Should she stumble upon my blog (and happen to recognize herself in my posts) it could cause great difficulty for a situation that has finally become amicable.
I continue to blog about the not-so-nice things because it allows me to unload enough emotional baggage to act like a decent human being. It also allows me to receive feedback that helps to show me when my perspective may not be the right one.
Most importantly, the password protection allows me to protect Stepsons from things they shouldn’t know about. While I do believe a day may come when they are entitled to some more straight-forward answers regarding the ending of their parent’s marriage, as a rule, I don’t believe that any child should be subject to their parent’s deepest faults in detail.
While I don’t believe it is my job to be BM’s protector, I do love my stepsons enough to want to protect, on some level, their image of their mother.
It’s a fine line to walk to make the choice to shut some posts down, but I think it was the right decision for me and it allows me to think about my posts on a deeper level and evaluate who they are really for.