creating joy despite divorced mom/stepmom conflict
As you may have noticed, this blog came to a screeching halt over the last several months. When writers post after a dry spell, they often feel compelled to offer a host of reasons why that no one really cares about. You’re reading this blog for your benefit, not mine. So here’s my offering to… [Continue Reading]
As most of us know, this Sunday is Mother’s Day. And then… one week later, it’s Stepmother’s Day. But rather than put up one post this weekend and then… another one next week… we’d like to take this opportunity to salute, in Sandra Bullock’s words, “All the moms that take care of the babies and… [Continue Reading]
To all our stepmoms out there, we wish you and your family a Happy Stepfamily Day! Thanks for everything you do to keep your families running smoothly and nurturing your stepkids, along with your own (if you have them!). We know blending a family can be tough work at times, but also hugely rewarding. Take… [Continue Reading]
Mother’s Day has come and gone, but there are some stepmothers who are still recovering from the aftermath. What were your expectations for Mother’s Day? Did you expect your stepkids to make you breakfast in bed? Give you a card? Call and tell you how much they appreciate everything you do for them? If you didn’t… [Continue Reading]
Happy Mother’s Day! Thank for all you do for these little beings (and sometimes medium and big ones) who can be moody, uncooperative, whiny, over-sensitive and angry –- but also wonderfully innocent, vulnerable, warm, playful, all-accepting, and sweetly kind. Our children need ALL of us! They need as many adults to love them as possible… [Continue Reading]
So far, it’s nowhere near about you to the extent you might think, you’re going to be like a tree on a hill, you have more power than you think you do and it’s good to tend to the good.* On this last day of Thanksgiving week here in the U.S, there’s the post-holiday torpor… [Continue Reading]
One very easy way to increase your feelings of gratitude is to TAKE CARE OF YOUR BLESSINGS. So often, we take for granted the things that are working well and assume they will always be there. Kids that still reach out. A reliable partner. Your job. Your health. The place you live. Your car. Friends… [Continue Reading]
So far, it’s not about you and you’re going to be the peaceful, powerful presence in the room. It’s also a good time to be reminded…. YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM. That’s right. Even though you have your “story” about how all the things that have been done to you are so wrong and unfair… [Continue Reading]
What does it look like when the “bio-mom” and stepmom transform the ex-wife/stepmom relationship from hell? Here, we talk to two women who were formerly at war for years, but have suddenly made a breakthrough into a whole, new world of cooperation and promise. Mayra (the mom) and Jesica (the stepmom) from the D.C. area… [Continue Reading]
A happy day to all the stepmoms out there! Please know that all your efforts make a difference. All the time and taking care of the stepkids, all the things you remember to do (that others don’t even seem to realize are on the list), all the ways in which you try to be flexible… [Continue Reading]
Last night, stepmom Sandra Bullock won an Oscar for Best Actress. I was thrilled, not only because she’s just so damned likable and has lived here in Austin, but also because of what she said about the message behind her movie AND the important job that stepmoms around the world do every day–many times without… [Continue Reading]
Happy Stepfamily Day to all the stepfamilies out there! Being in a stepfamily has its unique challenges, but there are also many opportunities to create new and lasting connections, new opportunities for love and support. Surprising little islands of closeness and intimacy, the chance to really see each other anew. Sure, I hear many stories… [Continue Reading]
Here's the Globe and Mail article by Sarah Hampson that's based on our interview from yesterday morning, it's called "Evil stepmothers have feelings too." She works fast! I think the piece accurately represents some of the struggles that stepmoms go through — and also features thoughts on the issue by Wednesday Martin, author of "Stepmonster."… [Continue Reading]
Hey everyone! While it's been nice to see new folks signing up for our emailing list, we haven't quite had as many folks sign up as we'd like — maybe because, like us — you're totally and completely weary of having ONE. MORE. THING. arrive in your inbox that feels like a just another must-do… [Continue Reading]
Happy Mother's Day to all moms and stepmoms! Here are a few favorite quotes for you to ponder, courtesy, in part, of a wonderful site called Interlude Retreat, a little breath of calm and fresh air online…. To love deeply in one direction makes us more loving in all others. -Anne-Sophie Swetchine There's an evolutionary… [Continue Reading]
Wow! Yesterday was a whirlwind! We were flooded with emails, tons of hits, and the book soared to Number 2 on Amazon's Bestseller list in two categories: Divorce and Stepparenting!! It's still bouncing around from No. 1 to No. 9 in their Hot New Releases categories too. Very exciting! This book has been five years… [Continue Reading]
Woohoo! Our book is #1 in TWO different categories on Amazon: divorce and stepparenting! This is so exciting we can barely stand it! The status is updated hourly, but it's been up there awhile now…. A special shout-out to all of Carol's readers who helped propel the book to the top of the charts… [Continue Reading]
Gratitude has been on my mind a lot lately this past week. Two Sundays ago, there was a large fire (1200 acres) out in the nearby town where David and Carol (my ex and the girls' stepmom) recently moved. It was only a few miles from their new house and we spent some harrowing moments… [Continue Reading]
We’re doing something different this Christmas, inspired in part by a tight budget, but also but a desire to take our experience of Christmas into our own hands and out of the whole go-to-store/buy-gift/give-gift and get-gift formula. It’s an antidote to the state of the economy, but more than that, it’s a productive way to… [Continue Reading]
And now, a shout-out to Carol, who’s busy every day of the week in her studio and at her site Painting a Day, cranking out one masterpiece after another. I know such a statement will make her cringe, but truly, I am in awe of her talent, and discipline. She’s taught me a lot about… [Continue Reading]
Izzy Rose, over at the snappily-written Stepmother’s Milk, is hosting La Belle Mare, a weekend getaway for stepmoms on August 8th through the 11th, here in beautiful Austin, Texas. She’s partnering with Samara Postuma, of Simplicity in the Suburbs to organize the gathering. A few excerpts from Izzy’s blog: "…Some of you may remember my… [Continue Reading]
Believe me, the irony of where I was and with whom was not lost on me. The last time I’d been here was about 17 yrs. ago when I was dating my ex-husband. Now, I was here with Carol, his wife, and their almost two year-old son, J. We were on a mission: find a… [Continue Reading]