Had Enough of the Mom or Stepmom? It’s Time to Move On

Have you had enough?

What if she never changes? What if she doesn’t stop trying to turn your stepchildren against you and accusing you of things you didn’t do? What if she doesn’t stop overstepping boundaries and trying to make you look like a bad mom?

What if this is just how she is? I mean, lets face it, if she’s this way with you, filled with anger and resentments she can’t let go of, she’s probably like this with other people in her life too.

So what’s a girl to do?

For starters, you can stop giving your power away. Every time you ruminate about her behavior, every time you complain about her and say “can you believe she…” and get sympathy from your friends, you’re giving her your power. She’s controlling your thoughts, emotions and moods.

It’s time to start taking back control of your life. 

Do you have a fulfilling career? Do you have a passion you have yet to explore? If you don’t have anything to focus on but her, you’re viewing life through a very narrow, negative lens. And you’re asking to get physically ill from the stress.

So if you’re ready to be empowered and get back to the old you, the happy you, there’s no time like the present to:

  • Explore your passions
  • Honor your body by learning how to be the healthiest you possible
  • Call that therapist you’ve been denying you need
  • Listen to music you love
  • Learn how to play an instrument
  • Say “no” to others more often
  • Take that art class you’ve been debating about
  • Stop making excuses and start that business you’ve been dreaming of
  • Stay away from people who drain your energy and spend more time with those who enrich your life
  • Take a long walk with your favorite furry animal
  • Go dancing
  • Treat yourself to a personal retreat and rejuvinate your soul

It’s time to start treating yourself with love by pushing the other woman out of your mind and replacing her with people, places and things that enhance your life; that serve to better your life.

You might need to remind yourself every day to do this. Okay, maybe three or four times a day… But it will be worth it.

It’s time to get back to your journey where YOU are the focus.

© 2012 Jenna Korf    All Rights Reserved

Photo credit: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Comments

  1. Dina McCausley says:

    EXCELLENT! :-)

  2. Excellent article as always Jenna!!! <3

  3. I’ve left her in the dust :) She just wants to stay there stuck in a dark hole of madness, bitterness and anger.

  4. I have 4 step brothers and 1 step stesir. as we are older there is no competition over gifts…instead its all about who can get the parents to their house. It’s all about attention and gifts for the grandchildren. So stupid the crap that goes on just trying to arrange one day to be together. When I am often thinking, why do I want to be with them anyway?So I am “kidnapping” mom and dad this year. They have to find us to pull more crap! Ha — there’s the joy of the season.

  5. Um…weren’t there children involved, here?

    If you’re the mom, and the stepmom’s being destructive, then you have a responsibility not to turn around in a huff and walk away and take guitar lessons. You document, you take the children to therapy, you guard them as well as you can, and if necessary you call the lawyer. Because your first responsibility is to your kids.

    If the kids are actually fine and you’ve got your own issues, that’s one thing. But if not — well, you’d better do something about that.

  6. Amy, this article is based on the assumption that she’s treating the kids just fine. Our articles (and this website) is focused on the dynamic between the mom and stepmom. We assume that the kids aren’t being neglected, abused or otherwise harmed – unless we specify otherwise.

  7. Talk about projection…doing what is best for my family is by no means madness, bitterness or anger. I am so happy to be left in the dust!!

  8. Great post. You’re right, since no one else can think our thoughts for us, the way we feel is ultimately up to us.

  9. This part, ” What if she doesn’t stop overstepping boundaries and trying to make you look like a bad mom?” hit the nail on the head. I’m done with her bad energy.

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