What thoughts keep you company at night?
Thoughts about how wonderful, beautiful and bright you are? Or thoughts about how you’re not skinny enough, smart enough or good enough?
Thoughts about what an awful person the stepmom or ex-wife is? Or thoughts geared toward understanding, curiosity or acceptance?
Our thoughts are so powerful, that they alone can determine our happiness, if we let them.
What do you think would happen if we chose not to believe the thoughts that cause us pain?
What if we opened the door just enough to make room for a different thought.
One not so painful?
Can you imagine who you would be without that thought? Can you feel the weight lift from your chest? The anxiety dissipate?
The problem is, we don’t question our thoughts. They are our truth.
But how do we know they’re true? How do we know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they are true?
Remember, to know what someone else is thinking or feeling, we either have to be mind readers or hear it straight from their mouth.
Otherwise, we’re just assuming or making educated guesses. Guesses made from our insecurities and past experiences, which may or may not have any relevance to our current situation.
And what if our assumptions are wrong? What if we’re putting ourselves through hell for no reason? Is it possible?
Are you willing to entertain the idea that some of your thoughts regarding the other woman might not be true?
As Byron Katie would say, when you’re getting upset about something, ask yourself, “Is it my stuff? Their stuff? Or God’s stuff (or things like Mother Nature)?”
I love this, because most of the things we get upset about aren’t “ours.” And since they’re not ours, they’re not ours to control or attempt to fix.
So, we can let…them…go.
For example, if we’re getting all worked up thinking about something the other woman said to us, and we know we didn’t do anything to deserve it, then it’s her stuff. The problem is hers, not ours. We can’t fix it, only she can.
Poof! It’s gone…OK, it might not be completely gone, but at least it won’t be monopolizing all your time and energy anymore.
Now, if we DID do something to deserve it, then it’s “our stuff” and it’s up to us to try and fix it. Make sense?
If you have recurring thoughts that are causing you pain, I highly recommend checking out Byron Katie. She has a great method for helping you move beyond the beliefs that are causing you grief.
SHARE WITH US:
What’s a negative thought you’re willing to attempt to give up?
- The missing link (a new direction)
- I’m done trying to make peace with the other woman. Now what?
- The dangers of certainty
© 2011 Jenna Korf All Rights Reserved
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