Thanksgiving Day Tango Tips, Part 3

So far, it’s not about you and you’re going to be the peaceful, powerful presence in the room.

It’s also a good time to be reminded….

YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM.

That’s right.

Even though you have your “story” about how all the things that have been done to you are so wrong and unfair — and the way you KNOW THIS IN YOUR GUT is because of how upset these things make you feel — that still doesn’t actually mean you’re a victim.

It all starts innocently enough.

You sit down on the metal edge of the parked Victim Merry Go Round because you’re freaked out and you need to gather your wits. Something bad, something hurtful, something outrageous REALLY DID happen to you. You need a break!

But while you’re sitting there, going over the story again and again, the merry go round starts moving.

And you stay on.

And you find yourself getting caught up in the vortex of movement; in this unhealthy loop of emotions that keeps feeding upon itself:

Story of injustice =

inflamed, wounded emotions =

anger (your attempt to regain a sense of dignity) =

vengeful fantasies (the ultimate tease!) …

folllowed by more story in your head.

Next thing you know, you’re so disoriented you can’t get off the merry go round. And you feel really gross. Worse than ever.

Happens to the best of us.

But no matter what’s going around you, the story you weave in your head is still up to you. And that’s awesome news. Because you now have a ton of choices that you were blind to before.

So take control of the narrative back!

When you do, all the energy that was fueling your story turns instead into powerful, FORWARD MOMENTUM.

You know that feeling, right? Of living with purpose? Intention? Of open-ended possibilities?

Craft a different story for yourself. One of a wise, grounded, kick-ass heroine dealing with some harrowing challenges, just like in a movie, or a fairy tale. Where she triumphs, for the good of all.

What’s a much more empowered version of YOUR current story?

Now how can you LIVE this?

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

More tomorrow….

© 2010 Jennifer Newcomb Marine     All Rights Reserved

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Comments

  1. Paula Hammer McGuire says:

    It hurts all the time. I began my journey almost 5 years ago adding 7 children to this mix. I really thought that I could make this work because we were in love and I love being apart of the kids lifes . I have reached out so many times to the ex to only find in the end she presents yet another attack towards me of many false untruths. It hurts and I am sadden. The children are now become seperated- that I am so ready to turn in the keys to this marriage. I cant take the hurt within any longer and the more I talk to my husband about these issues the more I become hurt by his defense towards the actions of his children and ex. I have read the book a number of times and my thoughts are REALLY. This is not the way anyone should live and the books make appear to be easy in most manners but in the end is it .

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