When you’re in a situation with a fair amount of intractable conflict, it can be helpful to step back and see what you’re contributing to it. ‘Course, we always like to think there’s nothing WE’RE possibly doing wrong. After all, we live each day believing we’re doing our utmost, acting from of place of earnest intentions, trying not to do harm or be harmed.
But just like in a romantic relationship that’s not working, it’s always a two-way street when there are issues. One person might seem on the outside to be contributing to most of the problems by being aggressive, ornery and just generally a jerk, but —- ahhhh —- never underestimate the power of the passive-aggressive! They’re fighting their battles too, just less visibly….
So here’s my question for you. Are you getting a hit of energy off of being negative about your issues with the other woman?
If you notice that you are, would you be willing to experiment with some different behavior, such as biting your tongue when you feel inclined to gossip or make the other person wrong?
Would you be willing to watch your own thoughts and behavior more closely so you can see what kind of energy you’re feeding into your mental hopper?
Can you be honest enough with yourself to see this dynamic at play?
No one likes seeing this stuff inside themselves… but when you do and you face it, suddenly, other possibilities reveal themselves. Irony in action!
Would love to hear about your experiences. Talk to us!!
© 2008 Jennifer Newcomb Marine All Rights Reserved