Calling all ex-wives and bio-moms

I don’t get it. Where are all the ex-wives?

I took a look around the ethers for other websites having to do with what I call blended families, or e-x-t-e-n-d-e-d families — and all I could come up with were sites for stepfamilies, or anthropological sites analyzing multi-generational families in other countries.

I did get one reference to the The challenges for Mom & Stepmom on urbanMamas, a Portland, OR-based site.

I did a search for ex-wife blogs and came across one
that’s entertainingly written and really extensive, detailing their
nightmarish run-ins with a ex- who suffers from mental illness.  There
are millions of mentions of celebrity divorces (Eddie Murphy, Paul
McCartney, Bobbie Brown) and lots of references to a Serbian farmer who
insisted on cutting his farming gear, literally, in half before he split his property with his ex-wife.

"Single mother" yielded even fewer results, though I’ve now bookmarked (Single Mother on the Verge,
go check it out, she’s a gas).  I thought I had maybe landed in the
wrong place, at first, given the blonde model in a bikini, but no, it
was an entry about boob envy.  I’m a bit of an Anglophile, so I got
sucked right in.

If anyone knows about any other sites devoted to extended/blended families (and what should we call these things?!) besides the ones listed left, will you let me know?!  Thanks!

© 2008 Jennifer Newcomb Marine All Rights Reserved

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  1. I’m an ex-wife, bio-mom…honestly there is too much going on and too little sense to be made of it for me to blog about it. I have a child with some rather extreme behavioral issues, which makes talking about the whole situation more difficult.
    I wondered though, is there anyone else who has the issue of the man in the situation doing EVERYTHING in his power to keep any flow of information between the mom and step-mom from happening? I mean, I don’t even know if I can call her that because I have no idea how permanent either of them consider the relationship. He refuses to tell me anything, and out and out lied to me about it when he moved her and her children into the house. It seems apparent to me that he is afraid of us developing any kind of relationship. Is there anyone out there dealing with (or has previously figured out how to deal with) this?

  2. E, that’s a tough one. If she’s moved in with the kids, then it does sound “serious”, I would think! What was your relationship like before they got involved? Did it get worse afterwards? I guess I could see him not wanting you to sway her opinion in any way. Perhaps he’s afraid you’re going to negatively affect their relationship somehow. Whatever the case, it sounds really frustrating, because here you have someone who’s interacting with *your* child, and yet you have little information about who she is and no way to speak to her.
    I don’t know… I wish I had some brilliant suggestion…. Can you appeal to him in any way? Can you say something like, “Look, if I was dealing with a babysitter, I wouldn’t feel comfortable just leaving my child with any old person, without getting a sense of her and what she’s like. Can you respect my need to have a little bit more contact? I’m not trying to interfere with your relationship….”
    Does she ever answer the phone when you call their house? Can you initiate some short, neutral conversation that way, just to create a teeny connection?
    Anyone else have any other ideas?
    This would be the perfect kind of situation to take over to the message boards, if you’d like. (I finally ported them over from the old site, so they need to be updated, logo-wise. Everyone’s afraid to be the first one on the dance floor!)
    Keep writing… and I’ll keep thinking! Best wishes to you….

  3. Well, I just wanted to thank you for responding to me. I finally did get her to send me an email, and we seemed to be working on a tense but interesting discussion and he announced yesterday that they are all moving out.
    I couldn’t find your message boards, can you link or direct me?

  4. E, whatever ended up happening?
    Sorry about the message boards – they’re like a game at a county fair – popping up for a few weeks, then disappearing again. I can’t get them to work correctly, but have a friend helping me, so they should be back soon!

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